LA PETITE MORT
La petite mort (French pronunciation: [la pətit mɔʁ]; "the little death") is an expression that means "the brief loss or weakening of consciousness" and in modern usage refers specifically to "the sensation of post orgasm as likened to death."
"petite mort". Oxford English Dictionary (Third ed.). Oxford University Press. 2005. Retrieved 1 February 2024.
La Petite Mort: My little Death
September 9, 2014, was a day that will forever be etched in my memory. It was when a part of me died that day, and my world came crashing down. On that fateful day, my husband, whom I am now divorced from (thank the universe), betrayed my trust and disrespected my worth. The pain that ensued not only broke me, but it took five long years to rebuild myself and rediscover who I truly was.
The journey of rebuilding oneself after such a profound betrayal is not an easy one. It requires immense strength, resilience, and an unwavering determination to rise above the ashes. As I embarked on this arduous path, I was faced with countless transitions and transformations that forced me to confront my deepest fears and insecurities.
One of the first hurdles I had to overcome was regaining my confidence. The betrayal had shattered the belief I had in myself and my worthiness. I had to remind myself that I deserved better, that I was deserving of love, respect, and happiness. It was a gradual process, but with each passing day, I began to rebuild my confidence brick by brick.
Integrity, too, became a cornerstone of my journey. I had to rediscover my own values and principles, aligning them with the person I aspired to become. I learned the importance of staying true to myself and refusing to compromise my integrity for anyone or anything. This newfound sense of integrity became my guiding light, leading me towards a path of self-discovery and self-love.
During this transformative period, I also explored different facets of my sexuality. I delved into the world of BDSM, not only as a way to reclaim control over my body but also as a means of healing from within. Through this exploration, I learned to embrace my desires, fantasies, and boundaries, allowing myself to fully express and understand my own sexuality.
In addition to exploring my sexuality, I sought solace in physical expressions of pain and healing. Tattoos and piercings became a form of catharsis, a way to externalize the pain I carried within me. Each mark on my body, the length of healing it took, served as a reminder of the strength and resilience I possessed. Through this process, I learned that healing is not always pretty, but it is necessary for growth and self-acceptance.
Through these various transitions and transformations, I emerged as a strong and resilient woman. I learned to harness my empathy and compassion as sources of strength, rather than vulnerabilities. This newfound strength led me to discover my passion for helping others, particularly in the realm of intimacy and sexuality.
I realized that my own experiences and journey could be a source of inspiration and guidance for others who have faced similar challenges. I found solace in listening to others' stories and offering support and understanding. It was through this process that I discovered my calling as an intimacy sex coach, a role that allows me to empower others and help them navigate their own paths towards healing and self-discovery.
The journey from the day my heart died to the woman I am today has been one filled with hardships, but also with immense growth and self-discovery. I have learned to embrace my authentic self, to love myself unconditionally, and to find strength in vulnerability. This journey has not only shaped me but has also given me a profound sense of purpose.
La Petite Mort, the little death, is a metaphor for the transformative power of pain and loss. It signifies the death of an old version of oneself, making way for new beginnings and endless possibilities. Through embracing the pain and healing from within, I have emerged as a woman who is unafraid to explore her desires, who celebrates her body, and who is passionate about helping others on their own transformative journeys.
September 9, 2014, may have been the day when a part of me inside died and went to Idle Hands in SF to tattoo those words on me, but it was also the day when I began to rebuild, rediscover, and ultimately, thrive. I am a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the power of resilience. My journey is a reminder that no matter how devastating the circumstances, we have the ability to rise above and create a life filled with love, passion, and purpose.
